by Steve Peffer

Lubricated Goat has been playing their brand of noise rock, in one form or another, for over 10 years. Originally from Syndey, Australia, the band (founding member Stu Spasm - guitar and vocals, ex- Cop Shoot Cop member Jack Natz - bass, former Spitters member Ant Migliaccio - guitar, and Clem Grogan - drums) now calls Manhattan home. Recently, this latest incarnation of the band released an album entitled ‘The Great Old Ones’. As the title implies, it's a collection of old songs, but redone by the new line-up. While the band was on tour in support of this latest effort, WCSB DJ Steve Peffer managed to get Ant and Stu to sit down for this odd, yet strangely compelling, interview. Thanks to Steve for letting me run this on Utter Trash.

UT: So (to 2nd guitarist), I couldn't hear your guitar at all.
Ant: Well, I don't think you were in the center of the stage. That’s the problem. You were probably standing just to the left of where you were supposed to stand.
Stu: I'd like to talk to you a bit, you look like Jeffery Dahmer.

UT: No, but he's from...like a half hour from here.
Stu: I like your shoes.

UT: Yeah. I just got 'em. Just bought 'em. They’re green. Kinda, forest green.
Ant: How much would it cost to get you to take your clothes off?

UT: That's not what we're here to talk about.
Ant: No, I just wanna.

UT: Probably fifty bucks.
Ant: Really?

UT: Yeah. I could really use the fifty bucks.

Ant: Steve, are you taping this?

UT: Huh? Yeah.
Ant: Then ask me some serious questions about the record.

UT: Sure.
(No serious question is immediately asked, so Ant starts telling a story)
Ant: When we were making that record, I was living in Vernon, Florida at the time. I was trying to collect insurance money, and I was working for Disney World and I was dressing up like one of the weird puppets that they have.

UT: Which one were you dressing up as?
Ant: I don't wanna say, cuz it's sort of embarrassing. Minnie Mouse, I’ll say it.

UT: You were in a small costume.
Ant: Yeah. I was in a small coStume and I was short...and it's like, a female. I’m kinda’ insecure about it. And I’ll say, a lot of the guys that work backstage at Disney World are gay, and there's like, these whole, like, underground tunnels. If you've ever been to Disney World, there's all these underground tunnels.

UT: So, downstairs there's just dudes fucking each other?
Ant: No. it's not that extreme. And it's kind of a weird thing that you would ask about that.

UT: So, that's not what's going on?
Ant: Not even close. And just the fact that you would think that is kinda odd.

UT: Well, you said that there was a bunch of gay guys and then you said something about these tunnels.
Ant: Yeah. That’s all I said. I didn't say that they were fucking each other.

UT: No, I made all that up.
Ant: You did.

UT: Yeah
Ant: That wasn't happening.

UT: So, what's the story (talking now to Stu) with the front cover on this record? Did they even make this on record, or ...
Stu: It's on CD right now.

UT: Do you like it small like that?
Stu: I hate fucking CD's. I wish they were never invented. I mean, it's alright for what it is, but, you've gotta take into account for how small it is and everything. So, I’d like to get it put out on vinyl at some point.

UT: Well that artwork would probably look better bigger.
Stu: Well, it was bigger, you know?

UT: Well, now it's smaller.
Stu: Yeah, if I had more space, it would look like a better composition. I still like the composition of the picture, you know what I mean? Like, the colors and everything. Like the way it's like, team colors. The same color scheme...red and black and green.

UT: Same on the back and the front.
Stu: Yeah. And you haven't even seen the inside.

UT: So, will you explain this front cover for ‘The Great Old Ones’ and how you made it?
Stu: Anybody who’s ever read HP Lovecraft knows the description of the "great old ones". They had tentacles and claws and eyes on these kinda stalks and Stuff. That's what I made. 'Cuz it's the great old ones, it's great old songs and a picture of one of the "great old ones".

UT: So, what did you use to make this artwork?
Stu: I used a dry squid and I put crab claws through it, and I used a smaller dried squid for the head. It’s tentacles look like teeth. I thought I’d have to do it with Photoshop, but all I did was tie an octopus to the bottom of it, and kind of spread out it's tentacles.

UT: You actually bought octopus, crab, and squid and tied them together?
Stu: Yeah. And there's like a green smoke bomb going off, and then a light and some bat wings. We did it outside this mechanic’s place next to our rehearsal room, and they’re all Spanish and they all thought we were performing some ritual to make their business fail, or something.

UT: Because they're Spanish?
Stu: Yeah.

UT: So they're insane?
Stu: No. There's a lot of people around where we live that are into Santeria and all that. It's not uncommon for Spanish people in New York when they get together, if they have a beef with each other, to do little Santeria things to each other.

UT: Santeria?
Stu: Yeah. Mexican...black magic.

UT: So how did you make these eyeballs?
Stu: They're actually Ping-Pong balls painted to look like eyeballs. In fact, that's the one thing that doesn't really follow through with Lovecraft, cuz normally they talk about eyes on stalks. But these are just kinda like randomly placed Ping-Pong balls.
Ant: I have a tattoo of that record cover. I’m gonna have to get naked to show you.

UT: How much would it cost to get you naked?
Ant: Thirty dollars.
Stu: He thinks he's still in Florida. With all that sex...all the people in Florida are all into sex. Sex fiends.

UT: You have that tattoo?
Ant: Well, I don't, but, my grandfather does.

UT: So that's the same.
Ant: Well, it is, because we were very close, and I grew up with him. When I say "I" or "we", I mean him.

UT: You said before that you used to work at sea world, right?
Ant: No. I went to sea world, just to see what was out there. But they wouldn't hire me. My best friend got his thumb bit off at Gator Land. That was kind of a nightmare. I grew up on a golf course.

UT: Who is the closest to an original member of the band?
Stu: No one at all except for me.
Ant: Those guys all live in Australia.
Stu: They live in Seattle. One of them is in this band Monkeywrench.

UT: Oh, Monkeywrench. Hey Jae, (talking to a man in the corner of the room) have you ever heard that, uh, that Monkeywrench band?
Jae: Huh?
Ant: Jae, seriously.
Stu: Yeah, and he was in Mudhoney or something.
Ant: Hey, Steve! Jae knows about Monkeywrench.

UT: I was hoping he'd say something about them, but he's not gonna budge, it looks like.
Stu: That's cuz he doesn't know.

UT: No. I know he knows. That's why I asked.
Ant: Why don't you ask Jae a question about Monkeywrench?

UT: What do you know about that band Monkeywrench?
Jae: They do a sweet Redd Kross cover.
Stu: A Redd Kross cover?
Jae: "I Wanna Play my Guitar".
Ant: What album is that on? ‘Neurotica’ or...
Jae: ‘Broken Monkey Dick’, or something.
Ant: Well, ‘Neurotica’ came out in, like, 1986.
Stu: Do they have a new album out?

UT: They might. I don't know.
Ant: You know that girl on the cover of that ‘3rd Eye’ record?

UT: Yeah.
Ant: That's Sofia Coppola.

UT: Is it really?
Ant: Yeah, yeah.

UT: A young Sofia.
Ant: Very young.

UT: So, explain to me how you made the cover for this Lubricated Goat LP.
Stu: I already told you that.
Ant: Steve, you're running out of questions.

UT: Did you play on this record?
Ant: Yeah. why, do you not think I’m capable of playing on it?

UT: You re-did old tunes for this one right?
Stu: Yeah.

UT: Why doesn't the album have any new songs on it?
Ant: Well, we're coming out with an album of new songs.
Stu: The idea was to put out an album of songs we never released but, you know, we're working on an album of new songs.
Ant: What are you doing these days, Steve, for money

UT: Not much, man. Jae makes more money than I do. He’s a cab driver.
JAE: That's why I’m here. I’m waiting to take Steve home.

UT: He's my ride.
Stu: There's a lot of elderly cab guys in New York.

UT: I hear they hate Orientals in New York.
Stu: I like anybody that can fucking speak English.