I think that they are really nice guys. And they're really funny. Especially the names of their bands. It's pretty cool because I never interviewed a band where all the people were married. And I think their music sounds pretty cool. It was pretty funny at first because they had forgotten that we had set up the interview. And it was also really funny because when we were taking the pictures with Lachlan's camera, it would be so bright that you would see green spots all over the place. They gave me a record. The record is clear. You can see through it and it's all red. On the front of it, it has a girl standing and Stuart holding a goat. I was not as hyper as I normally am. I don't know why I wasn't as hyper.

Vivien: What does the name of your band mean?

Stuart: It means, sort of ... uh ... drunken, lecherous people. It can mean, you know ... all sorts of different things.

Lachlan: It's open to interpretation.

Stuart: It's about, sort of, bad behaving but, good, really. We're good people, but we sometimes get drunk and behave badly.

Vivien: Hmmm, OK. Have you ever been on the radio or MTV?

Lachlan: We've been on the radio, but never on MTV.

Martin: We may never be on MTV.

Stuart: I've been on MTV as an artist when they had bands that do art. Also, we played naked on television in Australia.

Martin: In the nude - very graphic.

Stuart: Naked in front of millions of people.

Vivien: Oh ... Have you ever seen a kangaroo?

Lachlan: Yes, indeed. My mother raises kangaroos. When their mothers get run over on the road ...

Stuart: We've run kangaroos over before on the road in our cars. A kangaroo jumped into the side of our van and bounced off. There was fur all over the van and scratch marks. Another time we hit one and there was nothing we could do because it ran out into the middle of the road.

Vivien: Did he die?!

Stuart: I think so. They run into the middle of the road and they get mesmerized by the lights and they just run towards the car. There's no way to get away from them, whichever way you turn. I used to have kangaroos around the corner from my house when I was growing up and I would feed one, but not the other so that the one would get jealous and they would box. Like cartoons, you know? They'd get up on their back legs and box.

Vivien: (giggling over Stuart's last story) Did you guys like it in Australia?

Martin: I do.

Stuart: You can't do proper rock and roll tours there because there's not enough cities to play in.

Martin: But there's kangaroos.

Lachlan (as he snaps his own photo of Vivien): Now smile, eh. It takes a little while for this to work, so keep smiling ...

Vivien (blinded by the flash): AAAAHHH! That hurt!

Lachlan: I'm sorry.

Vivien: Now all I can see is the big flash!

Lachlan: You'll be able to see the picture, too, in a minute.

Vivien: Well, now I can't see my questions! Um... who is from Australia?

Lachlan: Everybody here.

Stuart: I'm from England, but I grew up mainly in Australia.

Lachlan: I was born in Australia - in the country.

Vivien: Who is married to Kat [Babes In Toyland]?

Stuart: I'm married to Kat and she's American. Now she can live anywhere she wants - in England or Australia - and so can I.

Vivien: Has she ever dyed her hair a weird color?

Stuart: Um, only when she tries to get it made so white that it goes silver or grey or sometimes even a bit yellow. Usually she likes it to just be really white. I think she used to have it died weird colors when she was younger. She used to have it short and she would dye it different colors then.

Vivien: What's your favorite song you ever heard on the radio?

Stuart: "New York, New York" by Frank Sinatra. Martin: Gee, that's a tough question.

Lachlan: "Some Velvet Morning" by Nancy Sinatra.

Martin: I never heard a song that I liked that was on the radio.

Vivien: What was your life like as a kid?

Martin: Very pleasant.

Lachlan: I had a nice childhood. I grew up in the country with lots of animals around.

Vivien: Did you like it as a kid?

Stuart: I like being an adult better than I liked being a kid.

Vivien: What is your favorite place to buy records?

Lachlan: Mine is the Sound Exchange in Houston, Texas.

Martin: Tower Records because it's open all night.

Lachlan: And the local thrift store.

Stuart: Where do I like to buy records? I haven't bought one in a long time. I want to say somewhere in New York ... but, I don't buy many records, I tape them. My favorite place is to be given records.

Vivien: What's your favorite movie or cartoon?

Martin: Cartoon? I like the Bugs Bunny with the Three Little Pigs.

Lachlan: I was going to say that.

Stuart: I like the one where Bugs Bunny storms up onto the table and the guy says, "Stop steaming up my glasses!" And I like the one where the coyote and the sheep dog say, "Morning, Herbert." "Morning, Ralph."

Lachlan: I like Eraserhead.

Vivien: I wish Bart Simpson was my teacher!

Stuart: You wouldn't learn very much!

Vivien: I know, that's the thing. I don't want to learn.

Stuart: Oh, no! You'll end up as dumb as us if you don't learn. You won't even be able to think what your favorite movie is. What is my favorite movie?

Lachlan: I like Chinatown.

Stuart: I like King of Comedy.

Lachlan: Withnail and I.

Vivien: What kind of house do you have?

Martin: I just live in a little apartment.

Stuart: He lives opposite me and our apartments are exactly the same except his is a little bit better because it's got French doors. But, our house is a bit too small at the moment. We want to get a huge house with a tower on top.

Lachlan: I live with my wife and two other people in a house.

Vivien: Are all of you guys married?

Lachlan: Yes.

Martin: I'm... uh...

Lachlan: You can say it.

Martin: No, I'm not allowed to.

Stuart: Martin's not allowed to say because he's married to a man.

Lachlan: All of our marriages are legitimate, as well.

Vivien: What's your favorite hairstyle that you ever had?

Martin: Afro! I used to have an afro.

Lachlan: I had orange hair once.

Martin: And now I've got it.

Stuart: I hate my hair and I have to do things to it all the time. That's why I'm wearing a hat now - to make it go flat. Later on I'll take it off and it will go all funny. Sometimes we set our hair on fire ...

Vivien: Then you would be bald! What was your favorite toy as a kid?

Martin: I had a [we're guessing on this one, folks!] MacConner set. Do they have those out here? Sets to construct buildings and things?

Vivien: An erector set?

Lachlan: I had a chemistry set.

Stuart: My favorite toy was Jocko the Monkey which was a toy monkey that had hard plastic hands and I used to hit my next door neighbor over the head with it and make him cry.

(Very sinister laugh from Vivien)

I used to make little outfits for him. I used a plastic football and made him a knight's helmet. My mom made him a little tartan suit. He's still at my parents' house now, but all the stuffing is coming out.

Vivien: Do you have any pets?

Lachlan: I have a crawfish and a frog.

Vivien: I have a toad!

Lachlan: Do you? Mine is a golden frog.

Vivien: What does your frog eat?

Lachlan: He eats very small fish.

Vivien: Mine eats live crickets.

Lachlan: Yeah, well mine likes them, too. So does the crawfish.

Vivien: We had to buy 55 dozen of them and they all died except for one.

Lachlan: There's also a big spider at our house called Liberace. He belongs to someone else.

Stuart: We used to have two cats, but we haven't got them anymore. I used to have a Galah - which is this bird - and it used to scream out obscene words at people. His name was God.

Vivien: A Gallah?

Lachlan: It's like a parrot.

Stuart: It was called God and it used to scream out mother*$@%#! [this is Viv's column!] at people and peg them. It escaped.

Martin: I haven't got any pets, but I used to have a friend who had a wombat. That's like a hedgehog or something. Like a rodent.

Stuart: It's like a big, fat koala, except it crawls around on the ground and lives in a hole. They look kind of like a hairy pig or something.

Vivien: What kind of car do you have?

Lachlan: I don't have a car.

Stuart: We have a Karmen Ghia. It's orange. It's like a sporty sort of Volkswagen.

Vivien: Is there anything you wish you had, but you don't?

Stuart: I want to have a big house that we own for me and Kat to live in. I want a recording studio downstairs, room to do artwork and lots of stuff to make films with. Plus lots of money to go with it!

Lachlan: I'd like a multi-system video machine.

Martin: I'd like a cat.

Vivien: What is your favorite poster?

Martin: Marilyn Monroe.

Vivien: I like Marilyn, too.

Stuart: My favorite poster is the Maharani of Rewa (?!). I haven't got it at the moment, but hopefully it's coming over in a box from Australia.

Vivien: What is your favorite t-shirt?

Martin: One that says, "I'm a Rhino." I've got it in the back if you want to see.

Lachlan: "I'm With Stupid."

Stuart: My favorite t-shirt has a picture of Baphomat on it.

Martin: I've got one that says, "No cavities."

Stuart: I'm making one that has a banana with an arrow through it and it says "Elvis" in scroll.

Vivien: What have you named your band before?

Stuart: Snot Collection, The Poofters

Lachlan: Bush Oysters...

Stuart: Toilet Duck...

Lachlan: Brazilian Penis...

Martin: Leather Moustache, Orthopedic Surprise...

Stuart: The Oliver Reed Band ... uh, we've had a lot of names. Sometimes we just thought of the name of a band and we'd think it was funny, so we'd book a show and we'd have a couple of weeks to figure out what type of music it would play.

Vivien: What color do you wish your hair was?

Lachlan: Black.

Stuart: Black.

Martin: Puce.

Vivien: What color is that?!

Martin: Sort of a purplish brown.

Stuart: No, it's not purple Is it?

Martin: In the dictionary it says that it's purplish brown.

Stuart: I wish my hair was blue, actually ... a really dark blue.

Vivien: Do you have any children?

Lachlan: No.

Stuart: No.

Martin: No.

Stuart But we are going to have a son called Wolfgang and a daughter called Lottie.

Vivien: Do you live on a block with kids on it that make a lot of noise?

Martin: I live on a block with a lot of adults that act like children.

Stuart: We live on a block where we make a lot of noise and there are a lot of grumpy people who complain. We laugh at them.